Alright! Alright! Stop nagging at me for another blog post! (No one is nagging at me for blog posts...)
So, now I have a van. I'd post up pictures, but I don't want you to know my company, or you might spend all of your money there and end up homeless and with no teeth. It would be a shame for you to lose your home... and not even be able to do the Africa face, even, with your lovely teeth..
I'm still homeless. Yes, that's right, but I have so far kept all of my teeth. I type this from a McDonDons doorway, stealing their internet. I'd go in and get a coffee but I haven't the money because I spent it on the van and some sharpies to draw on it with. (I'm kidding - I'm typing this from a luxurious Jacuzzi bath.)
I'm looking for somewhere - but no joy so far. I hate when people fuck me about and waste my time. I turned down another house for that place (and they knew it, too) and then they backed out. That's messed up.
I liked a boy, but he didn't like me. I messaged him to tell him that he was behaving in a cowardly and pussy 'ole-ish manner... and he responded that he was just busy and everything was fine. That's a good thing - but he's so busy that I'm never going to get to see him anyway. I dreamed that he fingered my arse the other night. It was hot, for whatever reason. It was a threesome, but we totally just ignored this other guy. He was an arse fingering rookie and my dude was showing him how to do it properly... Fascinating stuff.
So, my motorbike is fine, also. She's still going - bless her soul. I spent £70 of amazing amazon gift vouchers (Thank you!!) today on a mountable camcorder and audio recorder so as soon as it arrives I'll get out on my lmaotorbike and start moto vlogging. I can't go too fast or anything because if I get famous (as I undoubtedly will, for being just the weirdest creature and singing in my helmet) I'll get done in by the rozzers, mate, so I'll be keeping the riding chilled out for the most part and just nattering on... but on my motorbike. You clearly get sick of my face and that's why you read my retarded blog instead.
Alright, I'm bailing out because I have a shit tonne of work to do. (I'm going to watch The Apprentice...)
Goodnight, creatures of the internet. Don't have heart attacks in your computer chairs until I get there.
Thursday, 30 May 2013
Saturday, 18 May 2013
An old blog on FatUglyorSlutty
So, after reading this article http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-18280000 and seeing this site http://fatuglyorslutty.com/ I have been in two minds about the whole thing.
There's feminist Tammy (who barely exists but can understand where they're coming from, when they're not being completely ridiculous) and normal Tammy who faces the same shit every day that millions of women do and takes it in her stride... because that's being a actual strong woman - not bitching about being a female all the time.
So, firstly I think: Quit your fucking moaning. Women seem to be so self obsessed they assume everyone who is nasty is being nasty because they're female. What if (and I know it's hard to imagine seeing as you're so soft and smell like strawberries) those other people simply don't like you? They don't like your attitude, or they don't like the way you talk and conduct yourself. It's akin to the situations when I call someone a cock end and they ask, "Woaaah, time of the month?" Wow. As if some people must imagine there has to be some hormonal reason why I consider them to be retarded. Perhaps... perhaps you're just retarded and it's nothing to do with my hormones. I'm calling it as I see it, regardless of where my womb lining is at the moment. You can't suggest to a dude that it must be his hormones when he decided to smack you in the face, so what's his excuse? Exactly, maybe you're just a prick.
Anyway, put simply: many female gamers have a huge chip on their shoulder, coupled with the idea that they're not only the sole female gamer in the universe, but also gods gift to gaming (and men) simply because you've got excess breast tissue and a wizards sleeve. That attitude makes people target you because it's disgusting, quite frankly.
However, I imagine that these women begin perfectly nicely. All female voice (trying to sound sexy?) and talking about girly stuff. Even worse, trying to fit in with the blokes on the game. "HA, yeah... tits... love 'em. Good old titties, eh?" Okay, so what exactly is your reason for needing to speak on Xbox Live? You know you get abuse hurled at you (whether because you're female or just fucking annoying) but you continue to speak out loud knowing that it's going to awaken the troll and pervert in everyone online. I think it's an attention seeking thing. I play Xbox Live and I listen to the chat, but I don't talk. I'm usually in a private chat with some friends while playing with them, and everyone else on the game. Would it hurt you to just... not be known as a female? Do you need to have the name, "SexyStacy2001"? Do you need to use constant smiley faces and giggle? I don't think so. If those guys didn't know you were female, they'd ignore you and that bothers you more than any abuse could.
I wonder if, after a session with the guys hurling abuse and you stammering back what you believe to be scathing retorts, you feel satisfied. Or, do you feel like shit? You made a fool of yourself. It was ten guys against one puny little girl. You're not even particularly good at the game. Any nice comments were from the fat guys that assumed they could form a long lasting friendship that would last well into the night and result in naked pictures. Pictures that they would be inevitably disappointed with as I've yet to see a genuine female GAMER (not one of those ones who played WoW for a month, thinks they rule Halo or takes pictures of themselves seductively sucking their Xbox controller) who was actually hot.
So clearly, my anti feminist side has taken the lead here. I'm sure I'm wrong. There are real life female gamers who just want to be able to chat on xbox live while they play a game. Why shouldn't they be able to? Sure, it's a male dominated world, but why should it be? I shouldn't have to just sit and listen to the chat while not being able to speak for fear of having every male start throwing his shit around like an aggravated monkey.
However, if you'd pull your eyes away from your tits long enough to take a look at any youtube video of COD (and your ears from wherever they happen to be...) you'll notice it's not just you that gets abuse. It's everyone. Every man, woman, child that chooses to speak will at some point be subjected to, "Suck a dick, you fucking faggot. God, you SUCK at this game." It's just that when a smart arse woman's voice comes on, they begin to formulate more appropriate insults.
Whatever. The point is, suck it up. Everyone gets insulted. It's a male world and you'll never fit in. Just enjoy the game enough that it doesn't matter.
Last point is just about the website, Fatuglyorslutty.com. What a stereotypically female thing to do. That's just like women: Get shouted and bitched at, APPARENTLY dominate the whole game and the whole chat with your crippling wit and mad skillz and then cry on the internet about it. How bitchy can you get? Bless them, all grouping together like a flock of seagulls just shot in the tits by some kids with a BB gun. I know you all think you're just laughing about it, but it seems to me they hurt you. They got to you, you're feeling insecure and you need your gal pals to fake laugh along with you because in the end you've come out top. Only... you haven't. You look like a hurting pussy and everyone can see it.
There's feminist Tammy (who barely exists but can understand where they're coming from, when they're not being completely ridiculous) and normal Tammy who faces the same shit every day that millions of women do and takes it in her stride... because that's being a actual strong woman - not bitching about being a female all the time.
So, firstly I think: Quit your fucking moaning. Women seem to be so self obsessed they assume everyone who is nasty is being nasty because they're female. What if (and I know it's hard to imagine seeing as you're so soft and smell like strawberries) those other people simply don't like you? They don't like your attitude, or they don't like the way you talk and conduct yourself. It's akin to the situations when I call someone a cock end and they ask, "Woaaah, time of the month?" Wow. As if some people must imagine there has to be some hormonal reason why I consider them to be retarded. Perhaps... perhaps you're just retarded and it's nothing to do with my hormones. I'm calling it as I see it, regardless of where my womb lining is at the moment. You can't suggest to a dude that it must be his hormones when he decided to smack you in the face, so what's his excuse? Exactly, maybe you're just a prick.
Anyway, put simply: many female gamers have a huge chip on their shoulder, coupled with the idea that they're not only the sole female gamer in the universe, but also gods gift to gaming (and men) simply because you've got excess breast tissue and a wizards sleeve. That attitude makes people target you because it's disgusting, quite frankly.
However, I imagine that these women begin perfectly nicely. All female voice (trying to sound sexy?) and talking about girly stuff. Even worse, trying to fit in with the blokes on the game. "HA, yeah... tits... love 'em. Good old titties, eh?" Okay, so what exactly is your reason for needing to speak on Xbox Live? You know you get abuse hurled at you (whether because you're female or just fucking annoying) but you continue to speak out loud knowing that it's going to awaken the troll and pervert in everyone online. I think it's an attention seeking thing. I play Xbox Live and I listen to the chat, but I don't talk. I'm usually in a private chat with some friends while playing with them, and everyone else on the game. Would it hurt you to just... not be known as a female? Do you need to have the name, "SexyStacy2001"? Do you need to use constant smiley faces and giggle? I don't think so. If those guys didn't know you were female, they'd ignore you and that bothers you more than any abuse could.
I wonder if, after a session with the guys hurling abuse and you stammering back what you believe to be scathing retorts, you feel satisfied. Or, do you feel like shit? You made a fool of yourself. It was ten guys against one puny little girl. You're not even particularly good at the game. Any nice comments were from the fat guys that assumed they could form a long lasting friendship that would last well into the night and result in naked pictures. Pictures that they would be inevitably disappointed with as I've yet to see a genuine female GAMER (not one of those ones who played WoW for a month, thinks they rule Halo or takes pictures of themselves seductively sucking their Xbox controller) who was actually hot.
So clearly, my anti feminist side has taken the lead here. I'm sure I'm wrong. There are real life female gamers who just want to be able to chat on xbox live while they play a game. Why shouldn't they be able to? Sure, it's a male dominated world, but why should it be? I shouldn't have to just sit and listen to the chat while not being able to speak for fear of having every male start throwing his shit around like an aggravated monkey.
However, if you'd pull your eyes away from your tits long enough to take a look at any youtube video of COD (and your ears from wherever they happen to be...) you'll notice it's not just you that gets abuse. It's everyone. Every man, woman, child that chooses to speak will at some point be subjected to, "Suck a dick, you fucking faggot. God, you SUCK at this game." It's just that when a smart arse woman's voice comes on, they begin to formulate more appropriate insults.
Whatever. The point is, suck it up. Everyone gets insulted. It's a male world and you'll never fit in. Just enjoy the game enough that it doesn't matter.
Last point is just about the website, Fatuglyorslutty.com. What a stereotypically female thing to do. That's just like women: Get shouted and bitched at, APPARENTLY dominate the whole game and the whole chat with your crippling wit and mad skillz and then cry on the internet about it. How bitchy can you get? Bless them, all grouping together like a flock of seagulls just shot in the tits by some kids with a BB gun. I know you all think you're just laughing about it, but it seems to me they hurt you. They got to you, you're feeling insecure and you need your gal pals to fake laugh along with you because in the end you've come out top. Only... you haven't. You look like a hurting pussy and everyone can see it.
Monday, 13 May 2013
Essay on "20 Ways To Stop Procrastinating" - By Tam Tam
"Never put off until tomorrow what can be done today." - Thomas Jefferson
Procrastination is one of the least awesome things that exists. Time stolen while procrastinating is not actually enjoyable time, but only guilt-ridden and dirty. No-one does anything interesting or important during this time. I, for example, smoke a lot of cigarettes, doodle in my notebook and have small panic attacks. Other people may pair up socks, move objects from one place in the house to the other or even just simply sit and stare into space with a frown.
In this essay, I am going to cover twenty ways in which we can eliminate procrastination from our lives. Some techniques may be physical, while others mental. It is not only a mental attitude that can drive us to complete tasks without hesitation, but also habit. There are many situations and professions where there may be more temptation to procrastinate rather than get on with a task. Being self-employed, for one, means that there is no boss standing over you and making sure that you get your days tasks done. It's very easy to say, "Well, today I've checked all my emails and responded to them already... and I know I have to fill out my tax returns but it's hard to do that without a sharp pencil so I'll sharpen all of them because I may as well - while I'm sharpening one anyway..." As you can see, procrastination logic leaves a lot to be desired, while also being surprisingly justifiable. Hopefully, with these techniques we can make this state of mind seem so totally unnecessary that we can cut all procrastination from our lives.
Technique One: Lack of Thought
This technique is fairly simple and involves… just doing it. Not thinking about the task ahead, nor considering what may need to be done but simply taking yourself to the place where the task needs to be accomplished and doing it before the will to sit down and read the instruction manual for Crysis 2 becomes overwhelming. This usually works better with physical tasks rather than mental suck as clearing out the garage, mowing the garden or tidying up.
Technique Two: Set Yourself Small Breaks – that you then forget about.
By having small breaks during your task, you force yourself to begin at once. You’ll most likely find that when your break time approaches, you’ll feel little need for one now that you’ve begun the task. Remember: getting up and getting started is the hardest part. Once you’ve jumped in, it’s usually not as bad as you imagined it would be!
Technique Three: I’m procrastinating.
My techniques are too good. I have things to be getting on with…
Friday, 10 May 2013
Whiny Blog. That's right, let's have a change from the usual upbeat shit...
I'm seriously going to write a whiny blog. If you like funny blogs, or interesting blogs, or blogs about different types of hair and nails... well, you're sucking on a big ol' bloggy cock that's ready to blow a hot load of creamy disappointment right down your throat.
This is a whiny blog.
I hate Plenty of Fish. I just keep looking for someone who's an exact replica of Matt or MMA guy. Everyone with a six pack is a retard. I think MMA guy may have been the only person with a six pack who is also marginally intelligent. I found an old phone that I used to use the other day and it had Matt's number and MMA guys... I deleted them straight away to stop temptation but I think I can get them back. Matt's gone to Australia, but I bet MMA guy is still here.... I wonder if he has a girlfriend now. I hated him, though.
I've met plenty of nice people on there, and honestly I don't know why I'm still on it. I don't have the time for it, unless they're amazing and so far no one is amazing enough to take a huge amount of time to put into it so they get upset and stop talking to me.
I'm putting together my business properly, and that's probably going to be alright but I'm so tired today. It's raining and cold and I have to move house this evening and I just want to throw myself upon my sword. That's how all the cool kids are doing it these days... swords... and throwing...
I'm so tired. I think I said that but I want to make sure you understand. I'm so very tired. Not tired from lack of sleep... just tired from trudging uphill for the last 6 months or so.
I'm going to start doing podcasts soon, because it's so much more fun than just typing. I only get an hour a day at most to myself and I usually fall asleep during it.
I need a hug.
This is a whiny blog.
I hate Plenty of Fish. I just keep looking for someone who's an exact replica of Matt or MMA guy. Everyone with a six pack is a retard. I think MMA guy may have been the only person with a six pack who is also marginally intelligent. I found an old phone that I used to use the other day and it had Matt's number and MMA guys... I deleted them straight away to stop temptation but I think I can get them back. Matt's gone to Australia, but I bet MMA guy is still here.... I wonder if he has a girlfriend now. I hated him, though.
I've met plenty of nice people on there, and honestly I don't know why I'm still on it. I don't have the time for it, unless they're amazing and so far no one is amazing enough to take a huge amount of time to put into it so they get upset and stop talking to me.
I'm putting together my business properly, and that's probably going to be alright but I'm so tired today. It's raining and cold and I have to move house this evening and I just want to throw myself upon my sword. That's how all the cool kids are doing it these days... swords... and throwing...
I'm so tired. I think I said that but I want to make sure you understand. I'm so very tired. Not tired from lack of sleep... just tired from trudging uphill for the last 6 months or so.
I'm going to start doing podcasts soon, because it's so much more fun than just typing. I only get an hour a day at most to myself and I usually fall asleep during it.
I need a hug.
Hey look... a big ol' pair of titties!
I need to employ a poly-phasic sleep cycle in which I sleep for 20 minutes every 4 hours. That way I can have more time to do things.
I can't believe I waste 8 hours a day drooling on my own face and farting whilst thinking about unnecessary things and strange situations. And I can't believe I waste another 8 hours a day sleeping...
I made myself laugh.
So, at the moment I'm trying to get my new business running properly which takes a lot of time, believe it or not. I don't know if you've ever had to think of 20 new cosmetic products, source British suppliers for packaging, design labels, source the ingredients and work out how much you need whilst making sure that everything you make will convince a room full of middle aged ladies to heartily part with their cash... but it takes time.
I worked three days this week too, at my other job. Plus I'm moving house today (Friday) because I need to get out of my old one, and then again next Friday when I have a van and have found somewhere else to move to... That'll be 11 moves in two years. Fuck it, I may as well just get a horse and live on the Moors.
I don't know why I keep kidding myself into thinking I'm not a wandering gypsy traveler. I move every couple of days, sell everything that's worth money and talk like a drunken Australian hobo. Plus I like dags. Do you like dags?
So.. cam is going well though. It's nice to be back although luckily I'm busy in my brain also or the occasional cock-like, insistent thrusts of hurt, disappointment and confusion would drive me bonkers.
I... I need a holiday. I never thought I'd say that but I really do just need a couple weeks in 28c sun and some delicious drinks and doughnuts. Maybe a cake. A bit of carrot cake. And a sandwich. Cheese and pickle, or maybe Spanish cheese and quince paste.
Urgh, I love quince paste.
I lied about the titties.
I can't believe I waste 8 hours a day drooling on my own face and farting whilst thinking about unnecessary things and strange situations. And I can't believe I waste another 8 hours a day sleeping...
I made myself laugh.
So, at the moment I'm trying to get my new business running properly which takes a lot of time, believe it or not. I don't know if you've ever had to think of 20 new cosmetic products, source British suppliers for packaging, design labels, source the ingredients and work out how much you need whilst making sure that everything you make will convince a room full of middle aged ladies to heartily part with their cash... but it takes time.
I worked three days this week too, at my other job. Plus I'm moving house today (Friday) because I need to get out of my old one, and then again next Friday when I have a van and have found somewhere else to move to... That'll be 11 moves in two years. Fuck it, I may as well just get a horse and live on the Moors.
I don't know why I keep kidding myself into thinking I'm not a wandering gypsy traveler. I move every couple of days, sell everything that's worth money and talk like a drunken Australian hobo. Plus I like dags. Do you like dags?
So.. cam is going well though. It's nice to be back although luckily I'm busy in my brain also or the occasional cock-like, insistent thrusts of hurt, disappointment and confusion would drive me bonkers.
I... I need a holiday. I never thought I'd say that but I really do just need a couple weeks in 28c sun and some delicious drinks and doughnuts. Maybe a cake. A bit of carrot cake. And a sandwich. Cheese and pickle, or maybe Spanish cheese and quince paste.
Urgh, I love quince paste.
I lied about the titties.
Monday, 6 May 2013
A Bit Mad...
You know when you play tag with someone on a long motorway journey in your car...? Yeah. When they turn off I get upset, because I don't want them to go away.
If I had a penny for every time I've nearly gotten myself killed chasing another biker just because I want them to like me as much as I've decided I like them within two seconds of finding out that they exist... I could buy some penny sweets.
So.. Obviously, being a cam whore sucks because every now and then you get a sharp reminder that someone you like doesn't think you're as special as you thought they did... And you're just another model to them.
Some MFC guys matter to me... Some don't. I guess to some of them I matter... And to some of them I don't, actually.
If I had a penny for every time I've nearly gotten myself killed chasing another biker just because I want them to like me as much as I've decided I like them within two seconds of finding out that they exist... I could buy some penny sweets.
So.. Obviously, being a cam whore sucks because every now and then you get a sharp reminder that someone you like doesn't think you're as special as you thought they did... And you're just another model to them.
Some MFC guys matter to me... Some don't. I guess to some of them I matter... And to some of them I don't, actually.
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