Don't answer that - I don't give a flying fuck, really. MFC can tickle my testicles with its tonsils; it's the most corrupt place in all of Christendom.
I'm starving hungry. All I have is chocolate and yogurht. Yoghurt. Yoguhrt... It's NOT Yogurt. HA - Yogurt. What a funny word.
I'm going to go back to watching Nashville for an hour.
In the meantime, I need you to meet me in ten minutes behind Sainsbury's with a rifle, a large packet of pistachios and a dildo shaped like a bass guitar.
See you there.
Monday, 10 June 2013
Sunday, 9 June 2013
Half Eaten Pitta Bread
I've decided to take my blog titles from the things that I have around me. Half eaten pitta bread just stood out to me, and seemed to link in nicely with all the things that I want to talk about. That is, my landlord, stomach bugs, moto vlogging and sexual relations. See how relevant it all is?!
Last night I woke up because something was banging in my room... and found my landlord sitting naked and cross legged on my floor. I was like, "What the hell?... Go away?" and he was like, "Okay, just give me a minute.." then waited a minute and got up and left. He came home drunk from a night out. Still unacceptable. I wonder what he'll say about it when he wakes up.
I've had a stomach bug for three days. I was only sick once, five hours after I started feeling ill... but the queasiness has lasted for days and days! URGH! Better today, hopefully all better tomorrow.
I need to get an SD card and a lapel mic to get my motovlogging thing done - but lapel mics are hard to find. I wish I'd just bloody got one of Amazon when I bought the cam and audio recorder, it could have been fucking sorted by now.
Sexual relations are great. I never have them anymore.
The End.
Last night I woke up because something was banging in my room... and found my landlord sitting naked and cross legged on my floor. I was like, "What the hell?... Go away?" and he was like, "Okay, just give me a minute.." then waited a minute and got up and left. He came home drunk from a night out. Still unacceptable. I wonder what he'll say about it when he wakes up.
I've had a stomach bug for three days. I was only sick once, five hours after I started feeling ill... but the queasiness has lasted for days and days! URGH! Better today, hopefully all better tomorrow.
I need to get an SD card and a lapel mic to get my motovlogging thing done - but lapel mics are hard to find. I wish I'd just bloody got one of Amazon when I bought the cam and audio recorder, it could have been fucking sorted by now.
Sexual relations are great. I never have them anymore.
The End.
Friday, 7 June 2013
Pukeasaurus.
I had spag bol for tea today, cooked by my new housemate who used to be a chef. Then I got bloated and wibbly, and then felt sick. I rode as fast as I could to Tescos and got some Andrews salts, but they haven't helped at all. Now I teeter between feeling sick, and then feeling a little better for a while. Urgh.
Luckily, I'm not panicking. Maybe that's because I don't feel like I'm literally about to be sick - but pretty close. Maybe this will be one of those times that I don't have a panic attack whilst being sick.
I want to go to bed and read my book but I absolutely hate the idea of lying down; I know I'll instantly feel shit.
Okay - thanks for listening. I'm gonna hurl.
Luckily, I'm not panicking. Maybe that's because I don't feel like I'm literally about to be sick - but pretty close. Maybe this will be one of those times that I don't have a panic attack whilst being sick.
I want to go to bed and read my book but I absolutely hate the idea of lying down; I know I'll instantly feel shit.
Okay - thanks for listening. I'm gonna hurl.
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