Moto Vlogging and Arse Fingering

Alright! Alright! Stop nagging at me for another blog post! (No one is nagging at me for blog posts...)

So, now I have a van. I'd post up pictures, but I don't want you to know my company, or you might spend all of your money there and end up homeless and with no teeth. It would be a shame for you to lose your home... and not even be able to do the Africa face, even, with your lovely teeth..

I'm still homeless. Yes, that's right, but I have so far kept all of my teeth. I type this from a McDonDons doorway, stealing their internet. I'd go in and get a coffee but I haven't the money because I spent it on the van and some sharpies to draw on it with. (I'm kidding - I'm typing this from a luxurious Jacuzzi bath.)

I'm looking for somewhere - but no joy so far. I hate when people fuck me about and waste my time. I turned down another house for that place (and they knew it, too) and then they backed out. That's messed up.

I liked a boy, but he didn't like me. I messaged him to tell him that he was behaving in a cowardly and pussy 'ole-ish manner... and he responded that he was just busy and everything was fine. That's a good thing - but he's so busy that I'm never going to get to see him anyway. I dreamed that he fingered my arse the other night. It was hot, for whatever reason. It was a threesome, but we totally just ignored this other guy. He was an arse fingering rookie and my dude was showing him how to do it properly... Fascinating stuff.

So, my motorbike is fine, also. She's still going - bless her soul. I spent £70 of amazing amazon gift vouchers (Thank you!!) today on a mountable camcorder and audio recorder so as soon as it arrives I'll get out on my lmaotorbike and start moto vlogging. I can't go too fast or anything because if I get famous (as I undoubtedly will, for being just the weirdest creature and singing in my helmet) I'll get done in by the rozzers, mate, so I'll be keeping the riding chilled out for the most part and just nattering on... but on my motorbike. You clearly get sick of my face and that's why you read my retarded blog instead.

Alright, I'm bailing out because I have a shit tonne of work to do. (I'm going to watch The Apprentice...)

Goodnight, creatures of the internet. Don't have heart attacks in your computer chairs until I get there.