Shit Worries Me, Dudes...

I'm going to whine here...it's not going to be funny, or smart, or interesting. This is a disclaimer. Sold as fucking seen, absolutely no returns. No warranty given or implied.

I have a headache. I had so little to eat all day and then ate a curry and my belly went loopy and I got a headache. Why is that?

My cat just tried to take a piss on the carpet. That worries me... Why did he try to go there instead of in his litter tray?

I'm going to London this weekend. The cat pissing on the landlords lovely carpet whilst I'm away worries me.

I've got the hiccups. That worries me.

It's my second week in this house and already had to ask the landlord if I can pay my rent on Monday instead of Saturday because I need the petrol money to get to see my dad for Fathers Day. That worries me, but he's pretty chilled.

Jack is coming over later. I hope the landlord doesn't mind. That worries me.

Notice a theme here, kiddies?

Only annoying people with quiffs message me on Plenty of Fish. Guess what? That worries me.

My friend Tom just came back from Australia after it wasn't as awesome as he hoped it would be. He got in touch with me on Plenty of Fish. He said he made it just so he could get in touch again... I believe him. He says I was the last person he slept with. I believe him too... for various reasons that I shall not disclose here. That was a year ago. He had a proper cock block of a wingman in Australia - so he told me about all the times he nearly got to fuck someone but then didn't. He said I was so good that he doesn't even really want to sleep with anyone else. I know he's just kidding about that. He thinks he might want to settle down now. I wonder whether he's for serious. I hope so, actually. He's very funny, and he totally has the same sense of humour as me. He makes me laugh a lot - over silly things that lots of people might not get. We both have a motorbike and a van... we both run our own business... That's three whole things in common. I think about him too much.

I've lost my door key. That worries me, obviously.

My head fucking canes. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=canes